Even if, seen from the outside, or from some higher vantage point, this sort of life looks pointless or futile, or even extremely inefficient, it doesn’t bother me. Maybe it’s some pointless act like, as I’ve said before, pouring water into an old pan that has a hole in the bottom, but at least the effort you put into it remains. Whether it’s good for anything or not, cool or totally uncool, in the final analysis what’s most important is what you can’t see but can feel in your heart. To be able to grasp something of value, sometimes you have to perform seemingly inefficient acts.
- Haruki Murakami, What I Talk About When I Talk About Running. Image, New York Public Library
Like Murakami, sometimes I’m compelled to do certain things, although they may seem pointless from the outside—even if they terrify me—because I feel their value. They could be as straightforward as running and cycling, as unconventional as eating only plants, or as impractical as finishing a degree in a field I don’t wish to pursue. The thing I must do this time is to capture what’s inside me and set it free. Some of it may be wacky, some of it mundane. A little will be dark (because darkness is part of life). Hopefully it uplifts. The stories and lessons within me point to ways of being well, regardless of outer circumstances. They’re about trying to improve those circumstances despite long odds. They have faith that the trying opens new possibilities and the effort itself has merit.
So, on the subject of worthwhile efforts, that’s how I see this blog. If my current endeavor appears as just another futile pursuit, well, it has value to me. I’d be happy if what I share inspires you to commit your own seemingly futile acts. Experience tells me that if those acts hold meaning to you, then they will end up bearing fruit. And that fruit will nourish your heart.