Thank you for even optimistic friends who are willing to say that they’re just ok or decent or coping. Thank you for their honesty and trust to share their ups and downs. 

Thank you for mistakes that turn out happy.

Thank you for how many chances I’ve had in life. It makes me feel like others deserve countless chances, too.

Thank you for those who believe in others and give them chances even after they’ve messed up. My dad is someone who believed in me like that.

Thank you for the opportunity to live where it’s not densely populated, especially during a pandemic.

Thank you for miracles and visions and healing—stuff that some folks who think they’re rational deny belief in. The modern world makes it harder for magic to happen, but it still happens.

Thank you for when I imagine Peaches not being around five years from now. It makes me want to give her a good life.

Thank you for a clearer head and more energy today (probably due to juice fast). 

Thank you for the last four years about to be over and new leadership that seems trustworthy.

Thank you for shelter on cold, windy days.

Thank you for soft clothes.

Thank you for the dream that Peaches and Seppe were pals.

Thank you for when security works to keep peace and protect lives.

Thank you for a peaceful inauguration. 

Thank you for reconciliation and civility.

Thank you for a snow day. 

Thank you for progress on the house.

Thank you for every experience holding lessons.

Thank you for a science fiction thought prompted by Monday Starts on Saturday. What if the future you were in a loving long-term relationship. Maybe the future you outlived your partner, who passed away years down the line, and soon after that death (for whatever reason) the future you started traveling back in time. So every day at midnight, instead of going forward to the next day, she went backward to the previous day, continuing to age into the past with each passing day. She saw the person she used to be living her life in normal time, advancing with each day, as she (the future self) appeared to become younger with each advancing day. At some point, the future self rewinded to the days when her past self and her eventual SO were first seeing each other. Maybe her past self was shy, at first. From the future self’s perspective of having known the man for years, this hesitance would seem unnecessary. She may try to enlighten her past self with a future perspective, so that her past self and her partner would enjoy more time together.

Thank you for deeper truths underneath shallower ones. For instance, sometimes we say what is technically true, but we do so out of anger. Our intent is to use truth as a weapon and inflict harm. The deeper truth beneath such insults is that we ourselves feel hurt and angry. So it’s more honest to say this deeper truth than it is to say the insult. Compassion and truth link up like that.

Thank you for fingers fitting inside ears, etc., even if not advised.

Thank you for days when it’s easier to find reasons for happiness.

Thank you for the sound of a banana peeling.

Thank you for a humidifier in my room.

Thank you for chins. Thank you for lips.

Thank you for better posture sometimes.

Thank you for the colors green and white together. (No matter if white isn’t technically a color.)

Thank you for last night’s (01.24.21) dream of swimming/playing in pool/ocean with a friend from high school and my ex-boyfriend. (They were a couple in the dream.) At first I was hesitant to join them in the cold water. Once in, it felt surprisingly warm even though I wasn’t moving much. There was fear of sharks until I saw one swimming along the bottom (like a catfish?) and pointed out that it was a small (not 3 ft long) tiger shark. It brought excitement in place of fear. After that, I marveled at a large black fish with feathery scales, and some other creature, not sure what. The only difficulty was the murkiness of the water. Also to note, my friend I found beautiful. But she didn’t see her beauty. She saw herself as overweight, and she was upset that she couldn’t brush through her hair because of tangles and dead ends. She admired me. She combed through my hair, complimenting it. I felt self conscious. The ex-bf didn’t play a notable role. He was simply her bf. This dream seemed like progress from previous ones. It felt safe and friendly in the water, idk.

Thank you for the TNH book, The Heart of Buddha’s Teaching. It’s one of the only books I brought when we evacuated. That’s kind of sad to think about because I had so many. But it tells how important this one must have been without even realizing it and despite the fact that I don’t identify as Buddhist. Re-reading it, a passage today made an impression: “When we have a toothache, we know that not having a toothache is happiness. But later, when we don’t have a toothache, we don’t treasure our non-toothache. Practicing mindfulness helps us learn to appreciate the well-being that is already there.”

Thank you for another passage that stood out today: “”Don’t run away from things that are unpleasant in order to embrace things that are pleasant. Put your hands in the earth. Face the difficulties and grow new happiness.”

Thank you for strategies when feeling down that prevent spirals into the abyss.

Here is one: Acceptance! If I feel irritable or angry or upset, sometimes there’s a moment of recognition when I pause and acknowledge it. I tell myself it’s ok and try to ease up the pressure, as if I were caring for a troubled child. That may mean that I ease up on my plans. If feeling lethargic, I may allow myself to rest without guilt. It depends on the situation.

Here is a second path: After acknowledging that I’m having difficulty, I think of what is healthy for me—exercise, sunshine, whole foods, gratitude, self expression, friendships, mindfulness… Then I’ll make one healthy choice. For instance, I felt sad last night. The temptation was to binge watch junk videos, which would have been to escape my feelings. I needed rest but not escape. So, I watched and listened to TNH teaching about love. I also silently explored the sadness. It seemed like maybe a little self pity, to be honest—from trying to work through problems but continuing to hit walls. After a brief ugly cry, it was time for sleep. The morning felt fresh again. 

A third strategy: Expand the lens. Down moods can be a call for new perspective. It may mean I need to free myself from time, place, convention, etc. For instance, sadness may result from getting too caught in the future, assuming a challenge will last forever, and that positive change is impossible. Many life stories bear witness that change is possible. Sadness can also come from focusing too narrowly on problems tied to one situation and becoming blind to what is going right in other situations. Maybe one tree in our life is struggling but the forest is thriving; or the forest is struggling but there are still healthy trees to nurture. Similarly, we may focus on challenging aspects of ourself and ignore our strengths. Or we may compare our life to some expectation that rests on artifice. An example of this is when I turned thirty and felt depressed that I was not only unmarried but not even in a relationship. I was comparing myself back then to some illusory standard. The solution to all these perspective-based pains is to expand the lens and shift the focus. Look at other people’s lives and stories. See how history has shifted over time. Remember the diversity of the world, the huge range of “normal” that exists, and how it continues to change. 

A fourth strategy: Try to find lessons in the pain. Study my experience from a robot’s view. There’s always a lesson to learn and grow from. There’s always a new option to explore. We can learn and find new solutions when we study ourselves and our emotions from a detached perspective. Sometimes, for me, it helps to think of pain as nothing more than that. It is only a feeling. Once the pain is categorized as simply a feeling of hurt, the situation becomes clearer. 

Thank you for the four elements of true love in TNH’s teachings: loving kindness, compassion, joy, and equanimity (inclusiveness).

Thank you for anyone who finds anything in here helpful or uplifting.