Thank you for the role of imagination in empathy and compassion. Imagining another’s situation from his or her perspective while keeping in mind the limits of my vision increases understanding, which is integral to love. 

Thank you for crisp chilled apple slices to cap off dinner.

Thank you for a snaggletooth (Peaches’) that still mesmerizes.

Thank you for the Faces Places documentary with Agnes Varda and JR. Loving artists humbly embracing their weirdness make me happy.

Thank you for interesting quotes from Rich Roll Podcasts: “Every itch not scratched is a lesson in compassion” (That’s Brad Stulberg citing an unnamed source). I think some unscratched itches end up a futile practice in avoidance or “self discipline” but still appreciate his perspective—it’s about letting those itches be, in a loving way. 

Matt Long shared on a different episode, “You don’t achieve true success by yourself, whether that’s happiness or financial success. . . .  I’d be wary of the person who says, ‘I did this by myself. I’m self made.’” 

Thank you again for Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. It’s just candid journal entries. How heartening to glimpse the inner world of a historical figure who dedicated his life to self betterment. I may not agree with every specific but respect his efforts.

Thank you for similarities between Buddhist teachings and some of the beliefs expressed by Marcus Aurelius (many of them Stoic). One example—I’m not sure it resonates with Stoicism—is that your mind will come to resemble your frequently repeated thoughts: your mind takes on the hue of your thoughts. He concludes that you should “dye your mind” with ideas. To me it’s similar to the Buddhist notion of mindful or right consumption and the premise that we consume even our own thoughts.

Thank you for efforts to seek nourishing environments, words, sounds, sights, attitudes, and to navigate around their contraries. It became clear early on how absorbent my shell is. Thus care was required in exposing it to the right influences.

Thank you for daily journal entries that help me process life in a healthier way.

Thank you for perspective on the challenges of my childhood and adolescence. It used to seem like a barrier to have struggled young. My youth’s turmoil felt shatter-your-being-and-life-view rough. It grazed death and embraced darkness. It heaved with losses. What I thought of as good unraveled into bad and morphed into me. 

Of course coming out the other side didn’t guarantee ease. And healing can take a lifetime, so I never really made it to that other side, in some sense. The thing I can say is that I may be better equipped to handle difficulties after painstakingly sifting through the shards of my shattered youth. I’m lucky to have felt broken early and grateful to keep lessons dear. 

We’re probably all at least a little fractured. Some of us haven’t yet had our pieces scattered helter-skelter. Our cracks, hidden, may allow us to move “normally”—blindly—through our entire lives. Why? Because we have the luxury to deny what’s merely hidden, and ignoring problems is a human thing to do. That’s why I’m grateful my cracks tore asunder. I had to face them. They left me no choice.

Thank you for a new lesson: I am not a martyr. When I think I’m sacrificing my wellbeing to help someone, that is a red flag. I may actually be using “help” as an excuse to escape my own suffering in the short term by acting in a way that disrespects myself long term. In other words, my decision to “martyr” myself for another may stem from selfish attachment (or from aversion to discomfort). Sometimes the healthiest way to help is, in some respects, not self sacrifice but sacrifice of attachments and aversions. 

Another lesson: If I accept someone being less than respectful to me, then I am not doing him any good, either. If he condones me subjecting myself to unhealthy circumstances to please or be with him, that is not right thinking. What is good for me also will be good for my loved ones. What is good for them will not be hurtful or disrespectful to me.  

Thank you for saved voicemails from my dad and a snippet of him singing. 

Thank you for saved voice memos. A surreal dream told half asleep at 3 AM stands out. Have you ever recorded yourself in a stupor, solemnly recounting wacky narratives from your unconscious? It can be an entertaining listen down the road.

Thank you for Sister True Dedication sharing on the Ten Percent Happier podcast what Thich Nhat Hanh would advise. As I remember, it’s ok to be angry for a little while, but after a certain period (a day?) we must address our anger so it doesn’t, I don’t know, fester inside or eat us up or whatever. 

Thank you for simple recognition of anger without further action. With faith in the practice of acknowledging and letting anger be felt—with acceptance of bitter parts—transformation is possible.

Thank you for this passage from Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations: If someone can prove me wrong and show me that something I thought or did was mistaken, I’ll gladly change, because my goal is the truth and the truth has never harmed anyone. (6.21) 

Thank you for unshakeable faith in truth.

And thank you for a happy effect since re-reading Meditations—i.e., the (fleeting) thought that maybe life is good and I don’t need to fret. What if there is providence in the universe or some sort of divine reason overseeing everything? Then it’s up to me to trust that Reason and live in alignment with it, which is doable. I can let go of worry. What’s handed to me in life doesn’t matter. I only see a small portion of the overall story, anyway: our entire modern civilization is only a fragment. 

By trusting nature’s goodness I have more ease. The bigger story (the one I can’t fathom) is purposeful. Situations that befall me throughout life lose relevance. Even the seemingly awesome happenings aren’t as important. What I do with what’s handed to me is the only thing that truly gives value. I increase that value by living so that my reason and the actions that result from it align with a higher Reason or nature. Matching up my little reason with big Reason harmonizes my life with the providence of the universe, and fulfillment results. (For the Stoics, I think the little reason entailed practicing wisdom, moderation, courage, and justice—their four cardinal virtues.)

Thank you for diverse philosophies on living a good life. What beliefs inform how you live and nourish your well being? How do your values sync up with the ins and outs of your daily life, the big stuff and the little details, in each moment over time?