Thank you for friendships through thick and thin.

Thank you for when ladybugs land on us and we feel lucky.

Thank you for drivers who give pedestrians the right of way.

Thank you for the Spiegel eye roll test and the Reveri app (may try it).

Thank you for friendly faces on and off Mulholland.

Thank you for resilience. A bushel of traumatic experiences spread across life give practice dealing with tough stuff. One may learn to bounce back quicker.

Thank you for real life applications of notions learned in philosophy. Think about false dilemmas applied to dating. Sometimes we narrow our options to two or so choices of partner, maybe comparing one against the other. Focusing on those limited options could leave us settling when more, and even better suited, possibilities are there if we seek.

Thank you for the practice of “selective watering.” That’s when we recognize and refrain from watering the negative seeds (like anger, bitterness, etc.) in us and those we love, and instead recognize and water our own and loved ones’ positive seeds (like compassion).

While we’re on that topic, thank you for TNH’s quote on joy: “It is possible to develop joy in your mind, even when your body is not well. This will, in turn, help your body. Joy comes from touching things that are refreshing and beautiful, within and outside of ourselves. Usually we touch only what’s wrong. If we can expand our vision and also see what is right, this wider picture always brings joy.”

Thank you for positive seeds watered. From the surface you may see only wet dirt at first, IDK. At some point a little shoot could sprout up. With time and care it absolutely will grow. 

Thank you for “Love is the water that springs from the source of understanding.” - TNH

Thank you for when RB has been honest and upfront, respectful toward women, free from dependence, courageous and self-valuing, and filled with integrity. I know you are suffering and sort of understood that you may have a difficult time resisting those invitations—that you are returning to the place you left, even after threats and insults from it to both you and me, and after your assurance otherwise to me. It doesn’t seem healthy. It hurt me profoundly. But that’s your choice.

I felt silenced by your words (or by my respect for them) during our last conversation and was hoping you soon would be ready to reach out, to break that silence. I was also praying you would be in a space where you could weather inevitable waves of darkness rather than reuniting with one of their very sources as a means of escape. (Maybe if we had been in touch, or if negative attention seeking had not been watered by your equally charged replies, then your own negativity would have diminished and you wouldn’t have succumbed to the darkness that feeds dependence. Sorry that respecting your freedom left me little say in the matter.)

This past month I sensed we came closer than ever before. You made a free choice (without propositions, threats, vitriol, pleas…) to express (genuine?) feelings as a way to rectify an unfortunate situation. It meant the world to me. To be honest, though, who am I to say what’s been going on. I’ve also felt a barrier to respectful communication, openness and truth—I fear DM3 has become a toxic support for this.

So from here I’ll move forward. It appears the only option to respect myself. The nice thing is, I actually want to be treated well. I want to treat myself well. I’m sort of put off by being mistreated. I’m going to keep watering those seeds of self respect because they do grow within and beyond me. The future excites me, and with trusted friends, I’ll never feel alone.

Please respect yourself also. Practice integrity. Recognize the fetters of dependence and how manipulation latches onto them. Think about what you want your future to look like independently of what I or anyone else may want of you. You don’t owe us anything, and we who care for you will not make demands. Think in practical terms of how the path you’re on links up with the future you envision—e.g., possessions and spending habits, work (to maintain stuff—it can leave us enslaved), family, travel, creativity, enrichment, service, community, etc. Remember that contrary to how it may feel, you’re actually still young and very capable to choose an altogether new path that fulfills you (even one with an altogether new social landscape) despite how stuck life may seem. Remember that bitterness, negativity, and anger keep us controlled. They entangle us in the idea that we are stuck—we are without or powerless—while gratitude and positivity open possibilities. They focus us on what we have and what we can do, and from there we grow. The limits set in our minds may be the most prohibitive. So open your mind. See opportunity. And you will open your life circumstances.

I hope you find true happiness, freedom, and love. I imagine it may take a lot of work for you to reclaim the genuine, caring, strong, independent, insightful you, but so many resources are available when you seek them. And infinite answers lie right in your heart. Healing and transformation are real.

You have a friend in me always. I am here for you. Yes, I feel angry. I feel deceived. But I also take responsibility for being more involved than the situation merited. I’m sorry. You are in my prayers.

Thank you for love.

Thank you freedom and diligence to practice love.

Thank you for friends who nourish us by letting us know we’re seen and valued, so we feel that we aren’t alone.

Thank you for real talks with neighbor G. Thank you for her book loan.

Thank you for activists and everyday folks making efforts as stewards of the environment wherever they go.

Thank you for language learning apps.

Thank you for an architect/contractor and a timeline taking shape. He advised me to plan one or two visits home to oversee progress. I don’t know yet how it will happen.

Thank you for Peaches’ fluffy eyebrows and for fluffy eyebrows in general.

Thank you for the wonder around and in us. That really is just what I love about philosophy. It fills us with wonder. 

Thank you for Nat King Cole and Barry Manilow tunes drifting from the bedroom next door after dark.

Thank you for crunchy foods.

Thank you for a place to practice and record positive thoughts that may come in handy later.

Thank you for foundations on which to build trust: understanding, respect, freedom, patience, communication, tenacity…

Thank you for courage to try and to let go.

Thank you for beautifully imperfect humans (like you and me).

Thank you for an insight on a contributor to happiness: Community. It’s easy to get along in many places with few ongoing, meaningful connections to a social network and instead to interact via disconnected and/or professional transactions. I’ve never been much of a joiner and rarely felt at home in a group. So cheerleading for community is new to me. But the last couple years have shown its value. It opens channels to exchange aid. It increases our sense of safety. The trusted interactions it nurtures lighten our moods, widen our learning, and sharpen our communications. Acceptance by a group, despite one’s perceived flaws, also boosts self esteem. We’re held accountable to treat each other well. A compassionate community can promote happiness.

Maybe I already said this, too, but thank you for the role of perceptions in experience of everyday life. For example, the perception, “I have to do X” is different from “I get to do X.” Switching to the latter is not appropriate in every situation. I have found it adds enthusiasm to duties like housework. One way to shift the perception, following the housework example, is to think about how special it is to live in a comfy, clean shelter. Then, rather than a chore, care for that gift becomes a privilege. My hope is that habitually cultivating enthusiasm for everyday duties will also generalize to heavier callings.

Thank you for 1 Corinthians 13:1-13

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. 2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part. 10 But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away.

11 When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. 12 For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.

13 And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

Thank you for your wellness. Put faith in the practices that have kept you well in the past, and be diligent about them. Believe in the power of rest to heal you. Believe in the goodness at your core. If you feel better when you talk to a certain loved one, then reach out to him or her. Know you are loved!

 
 

Thank you for sisters and sisterly friends.

Thank you for helpfulness.

Thank you for peace.

Thank you for the breeze through the living room windows.

Thank you for doggos and doggles.

Thank you for Peaches’ first bike ride.

Thank you for animal healthcare.

Thank you for productive days.

Thank you for core values, not just for companies but for people and relationships.

Thank you for forgiveness and love.

 
 
mushroom prints nypl.jpg

Thank you for perfect bike ride weather this morning. Thank you for the neighbors who waved and said hello.

Thank you for songs about holding hands.

Thank you for movie night with the ladies. We watched Fantastic Fungi on the recommendation of another friend. Now becoming a mushroom farmer seems like the thing to do.

Thank you for splashes in the tub.

Thank you for ready made vegan meals when you aren’t up for preparing anything.

Thank you for that lion-hearted magic.

Thank you for my heart bubbling over now and again.

Thank you for your heart bubbling over. I only assume that it must happen. If not, may your heart overflow with love, over and over again.

Thank you for the change in this little community since the fire. I was talking about it with my sister, how it’s so friendly and warm here. She said that’s what New York was like after 9/11. Everybody started to talking to each other and helping one another. I don’t believe it’s that we become more of a community after tragedies. I think maybe (aside from us needing each other) it is that we realize what was always the case—we are a community. We are connected. Waking up to the realization allows us to be active in it. 

Thank you for friends from work at UCLA.

Thank you for beautiful mountain views every single day.

Thank you for fresh air.

Thank you for contributing to this site almost daily. Since I’ve been doing it, logging in doesn’t give as much anxiety. It is not easy but does seem healthy.

Thank you for waking dreams.

Thank you for waves.

Thank you for excitement.

Thank you for a happy Sunday. Wishing you many more happy Sundays, enjoyed with loved ones <3